So, I’ve decided to start a new series here I’m going to call “Armchair A&R,” which is where I come up with imaginary collaborations that could impact careers & change the face of hip-hop for eternity. Ideally, this column can help to avert horrible tragedies — like the Shady Records roster — from ever occurring again in the future.

So, to kick this off, we have Hit-Boy & Los. Los is a Baltimorean who was with Bad Boy, but now flies solo. The Crown Ain’t Safe dropped recently, and Baltimorean Al Shipley of governmentnames recommended his tape Shooter. I’ve enjoyed both (definite edge to Shooter), although it’s become readily apparent that Los is about as incredible as a rapper as he is terrible as a songwriter. His verses are that perfect balance of personality and skill, wit and humanity, but I don’t think I’ve heard a single track from him with a halfway-decent hook, and the production tend towards the generic, to the point where I begin to suspect that a few of the beats were actually click tracks. (He actually does the best job when spitting over charting instrumentals). The most impressive song off The Crown Ain’t Safe was “King Los,” which at least has a beat with a modicum of momentum:

On the other hand, we have Hit-Boy, an incredible songwriter/producer who managed to give Jay and Kanye their biggest (and most genuinely impressive) hit (sorry, I don’t fuck w/ “Otis”). I’m not a fan of either rapper in 2012; Kanye is at his most abrasive & Jay his most detached. But Chase N. Cash makes the Watch the Throne duo sound like ’91 Linden Boulevard-era Tip & Phife. “Daily Routine” just might be the most wasted beat of 2011. Like, I fuck with that production for real; that’s a potentially charting beat, a front-to-back song that needs only a mildly competent rapper. Instead, CNC’s verses drain the oxygen from the room; shit would be stronger as an instrumental. That verse is writer’s block in rap form, where every line is a cliche or banality, delivered with a mouthful-of-sand flow and the personality of a 16-year-old with a tumblr account.

Speaking of cliches, let’s see some stars align. People, make this shit happen. Los & Hit-Boy is the next Illmatic.