A little bit of promise but so much failure

Ok man so this is the deal I’m going to start a new thing over at somanyshrimp it’s going to be a feature called Shitty Music Of The Week. We’re going to post something that sucks and talk shit about it. There are a few reasons to do this, 1: because it’s fucking funny and 2 because there is a lot of shitty fucking music getting put out there right now. This will not just be limited to songs but also mixes, remixes, dj’s whatever. if you make shit that sucks we’re gonna shit on it.

Gorilla Zoe – I Like Them Girls

Originally to kick this off I was gonna shit on this Jayceeoh mix I got but then I heard this fucking garbage and decided it was the shittiest thing I’d heard in a fucking minute. I use to have hopes for gorilla zoe, like when that Everybody Know Me dropped and his mixtapes. I thought this dude was gonna be on some shit, putting out bangers every month. He’s got a cool voice so it shouldn’t have been hard.

Then he dropped his first album and shit just went real bad fast. Doing bullshit songs for the ladies and half ass predictable club songs. I never expect dude to be the hardest but fuck man just say cool shit on a dope beat, how fucking hard is that shit you stupid fuck? I’d find myself giving Zoe chances after being like fuck this dumbass motherfucker and everytime I did I’d just be disappointed in his music. Dude just never measured up to what I wanted to hear from him.

Then yesterday I hear this fucking I Like Them Girls song. Are you fucking kidding me? This shit is the fucking voltron on all of Gorilla Zoe’s shittiest qualities. There is no growl in his voice, instead it’s been replaced with a bloody vagina soaked yeast infection that some people call autotune. Then he’s trying to string his raps along to that bullshit melody like he wants to sing but whatever is left of his testicles just won’t let him. I can see the bouncing ball hopping across his bear trap of a cunt.

Then the fucking beat, how fucking stupid do you have to be to fucking pick this garbage. Not all the blame should fall on him because Drumma Boy is at fault for making this fucking cumstained trance rap bullshit. The only place those fucking trance synths belong is so far up your goddamn ass that you vomit glowsticks all over candy raver exploding neon dicks. It’s a fucking bukkake of bullshit that will never end.

God that fucking chorus too, ok motherfucker we know you want to be Kate Perry and make the lesbian anthem of 09 but shut the fuck up with this bullshit. I like girls too but I dont waste my time making rave music, I fuck girls. It’s a better look shithead. The target audience for this garbage are fucking guidos who want fake tans to make out while their pump their fist to cocaine fuel trance. Fuck this shit, I’m fucking done with this piece of shit. Broke motherfucker is grasping at fucking straws trying to find an audience. Stick with ringtone raps for 12 year olds, that’s all you got left bitch. Fuck your rap career bitch, the game don’t want you.

4 responses to “A little bit of promise but so much failure

  1. I don’t know if this is a serious idea you’re planning on pursuing or not, but it’s actually interesting. I’ve had thoughts about doing something similar. Not to take away from the barrage of obscenities approach, but I think it’d be a cool experiment if you gave a song you didn’t like the same treatment as you gave every song on the Gucci list, which was great. It can still be funny, which this is, but along with intelligently detailed rationale for why it doesn’t work. Most of us stay fanboying everything we like and ignoring or dismissing in brief acerbic asshole fashion the things we don’t. This could be an opportunity to clarify your standards, both good and bad. Just a thought.

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