destructive wake: Kanye West

FEB 13, 2005 – STAPLES CENTER – LOS ANGELES — Police are searching for answers after a whirlwind of violence rocked this year’s Grammy Awards.

Capping a year of music that included wardrobe malfunctions, Ashlee Simpson’s indigestion and Young Buck knifing some buster, the Grammys exploded like a powderkeg packed with explosive tensions.

Chicago producer/rapper Kanye West had previously criticized the AMAs after self-proclaimed redneck princess Gretchen Wilson snatched a handful of West’s coveted awards. He was high off 10 Grammy nominations going into the 47th annual award show, but the tide seemed to turn against him as Wilson (best new artist) and a host of other competitors knocked him out in almost every category.



caught in the crossfire: Maroon 5

Moments after Maroon 5 topped West in the “best rap song” category, a clearly intoxicated West pushed past fellow rapper Twista, who tried to restrain him, and took to the stage. Saying Maroon 5 was “good, but not as good as Roc-A-Fella” West proclaimed he was “for the children” before sucker punching presenter Norah Jones.

Witnesses say he then fled through crowds to the back of the arena, comically dishelving a cross-dressing Eminem and clubbing an unsuspecting buffet-table munching Sleepy Brown in the back of the head before jetting in his Benz.



scarred for life: Lil’ Jon

“He was like an animal,” said a sobbing Joss Stone; Lil’ Jon, later found rocking back and forth in a corner, would only repeatedly say “Ok. Ok.” He is now in therapy.

Fleeing on I-10, Kanye was stopped at an exit ramp and riddled with bullets by a group of gap-toothed Gretchen fans in a pickup truck. Early reports suggest Suge Knight was involved in the gangland slaying.

Jay-Z, at the funeral, Corleone-stylee: “Look how they massacred my boy.”