So Mobb Deep is back again but this time they tell us they really are back. I don’t know about you but back in 99 when I saw them in that shitty Hype Williams video pouring out bottles of crystal and rapping on fucking yachts I thought it was over. Sure “Quitestorm” had me holding on just a little longer but that shit wasn’t enough to get me to believe in the bullshit that was Infamy. Whatever though, now we have all this bullshit talk about how Mobb is going to bring it by signing to 50cent’s marketing empire. That’s a bunch of motherfucking bullshit. A couple of dope beats sprinkled in but dudes need to get their heads out of their ass. No one listens to Mobb Deep to hear soft ass songs about them trying to rub up on a miniskirt. They should have given songs like “Backstage Pass” and “Give It To Me” to some of the Gunit benchwarmers because it’s a fucking waste of rap. They need to leave that shit for LL and do what they do best, not half ass their style so they can rap with idiot R&B singers. Am I the only one who thinks Nate Dog fucking sucks? Who the fuck produced Creeping? That beat is retarded as fuck. Just because 12 year olds who day dream about buying stilettos think shitty sex songs are cute doesn’t mean Mobb Deep needs to fuck what little integrity Jay-z left them.

Also Mobb needs to learn that just because Fifty is their new daddy that they do not have to agree to rap with all his shitty friends. If it wasn’t for a tracklisting I wouldn’t even have noticed the Al Gore of rap, Lloyd Banks, was on a fucking track. Dude has the charisma of a sandbag. The worst collab on this shit is with garbage ass Tony Yayo who blesses the track with his genius raps, “My connect is a Cuban named Flaco, with my aim you a human taco.” Man that shit makes me feel embarrassed for rap music. If they had kicked that amateur off the track then it might have actually be dope.

The album does have a few moments even if they are laced with obviously 50 inspired hooks. The beat for “Put’em In Their Place” is fucking dope but it doesn’t really fit their style and they end up fading into the background. Loud bass driven beats do not sit well with that lazy Queensbridge delivery but whatever I’ll still jam it for the beat. “Speaking So Freely” is dope, no idiot themes or shitty guests just slow and dark like it should be. “Pearly Gates” and “Daydreamin” are cool too. But really all these songs suck compared classic Mobb Deep. This is the shit that I’m just scrapping up off the bottom so that I don’t feel like this album is a total waste but I didn’t pay for this shit so fuck this record. If you want some dark beats and sleepy QB delivery go listen to The Infamous and Hell on Earth because this Gunit shit is fucking boring and I don’t want to type any more bullshit about this weak shit.

Alphabet Aerobics vs. Alphabetical Slaughter

Gift of Gab: “Aerobics”
Papoose: “Slaughter”
Edge: Papoose

Gift of Gab: released 1999
Papoose: released 2004
Edge: Gift of Gab

Chief Xcel: Not annoying
KaySlay: Goes without saying
Edge: Chief Xcel

Gift of Gab: “Xerox, my X-ray-diation holes extra large
X-height letters, and xylophone tones”
Papoose: “X-rated, ex-African, X-Man
Ex-leaders, X-Clarence, X Malcolm, X-Clan”
Edge: Papoose. Although “xylophone tones” is a good KMD ref (unintentional or not), we have to give it up to X Clan, RIP Professor X.

Gift of Gab: Gift of Gab
Papoose: Papoose
Edge: Draw, both of those rapper names are shitty.

Winner: Blackalicious, for doing it first and because A2G is pretty good, but both of these tracks are pretty shitty even by ‘concept rap’ standards. Listen to the new People Under the Stairs instead. Then read Noz’s interview with Boots Riley.

So I donno if any of you watch MTV. I don’t, particularly because my between-work ass is unable to afford some basic neccessities (cable) so sadly I can’t catch all those great MTV shows. But I caught that new show Yo Momma at my friend’s place. It’s hosted by Fez from That 70s Show, and I always thought That 70s Show was pretty funny, a good mix of self-effacing comedy in a charming small-midwestern-town setting so I figured I’d check this out. Anyway, Fez (er, Wilmer Valderrama, but I’ll just call his ass Fez) is hosting this dozens-style program where people represent their cities in some ya mama-joke competitions. With standard cut-cut-cut-cut MTV production style the show is heavily edited; the performers sound almost entirely scripted, the judges sound scripted, lame jokes can get the crowd ‘excited,’ and there is no suggestion that anything is remotely improvised, no implication that the guys talking shit are actually any good at it, no sense that the crowd energy is actually feeding the competition. It would not be unimaginable that the extent of crowd interaction is a light-up ‘applause’ sign operating behind the camera.

There’s something suspect about the ‘perfect-cross-section-diversity-shopping-mall’ crowd too, especially when a white dude will make a ‘your mama’s so black…wesley snipes’ joke about a black dude and everyone in the crowd goes along with it. Fez is terrible and awkward as a host; for a dude who apparently screwed Lindsay Lohan, he rates about zero on the charisma meter. They had Mike Jones on as a ‘guest judge’ and it was kind of funny because he seemed even more awkward, if only because he somehow came across as unrehearsed and unwilling to censor himself, even after MTV did their best to edit his “American Dream coming soon” album plugs down to a minimum. Really the show is pretty shitty.

I don’t know if you all had this in your cities, but in Chicago in the early-mid 90s we had a vaguely similar show that I think was on WGN late at night. I remember it because I totally stole one joke (‘yr mom’s so fat when she walks outside with a raincoat on people yell ‘TAXI!’) for playground use. BUT it was infinitely better than MTV’s current incarnation (SHOCKING REVELATION, I know). It was a show taped on what looked like a nightclub stage, in front of an audience, and I don’t remember the details of the competition structure because it was actually pretty consistently funny. Yeah it was rough-around-the-edges, there was lots of swears censored, and I seem to remember it being very poorly lit (although I was also dealing with a rabbit-ear set at the time that got iffy reception). But it all had this aura of off-the-cuff insults that rode crowd energy to victory; it was all very democratic and (authenticity alert) very real. As in, real funny. So if anyone has any idea what that show could be or if its on dvd, let me know. Anyway no point to this post really other than reminiscing and to say that Yo Momma is garbage.

If you’ve ever idly wondered where our beautifully-rendered banner originated, I’m gonna direct you to some folks over at 3to1 Studios. We don’t do plugs or advertising generally but I figure in exchange for the free banner this is fair. 3to1 Studios is a media and film production company that do everything from website design to graphic design to full line video and film production…conception, pre-production, post-production, etc. etc. etc. Anyway if you’re in the market for any of these things check out their site.

I’m not sure how many people remember Rottin Razkals (Fam, Diesel, and Kay Gee) but they got put on by Naughty by Nature, actually one of the mc’s was Kay Gee’s brother, and in 95 released this shitty album. The thing is I didn’t know that this record sucked until today. When this album came out I would constantly come across this tape but I would pass on that shit for stuff that looked a little more promising like Thump’s Old School vol 3 or Da Mexakinz. As the years went buy I would always come across this album every 6 months or so and debate on grabbing it. I just wondered what the fuck it sounded like but I would never actually buy the shit because honestly who the fuck wants to listen to a group whose logo is an angry worm coming out of rotten fruit; so I’d pass on that shit and figure I’d get it next time. Fast forward like 11 years and after years of passing up on the Rottin Razkals the internet decides to bless me by letting me download some shitty jersey rap. I have no clue why I was always curious about this shit. Hell I’m not that big of a Naughty By Nature fan why the fuck would I care about some Treach nuthuggers? But I was curious and now I know that I should not have even downloaded this shit. The rhymes are pretty fucking horrible, one of the dudes, Fam, actually says “I’m creative, creating with creativity” it’s almost as great as when he threatens to “flush you like some tiny bowl.” If you can’t seem to tell Tha Razkals theme for the album is to just bring generic as fuck rhymes over boring ass east coast throw away beats, boring piano loops and all. They recycle so many rhymes and crutch phrases that it starts to sound like some bullshit that was written for a sitcom. In short this album fucking blows shitcock and new jersey sucks.

so what’s the point in posting this? To tell you it sucks and that I’m stupid as fuck for ever wanting to find out what the fuck these dudes were about.

You can never get enough DJ Quik. No word on the tracklist yet for that new Quik Greatest Hits collection, but here’s hoping they dig a lil deeper than normal. A classic cut for those early summer weekend barbecues, I hope you all get drunk and hit on girls and/or dudes with all of Suga Free’s loquascious skills. Be careful. Don’t break the code now.

“Inside Out” with the underrated Suga Free and almost-as-underrated AMG, driving bass-heavy handclap pimp funk with this great sing-song hook that sounds like some 80s pop song, like the chorus to a Police track or something. This shit is like hip-hop pringles, once you pop you can’t stop rocking this motherfucker. It is also too good to waste any more time talking about.

UPDATED MUCH LATER, 2008 — Can’t believe I didn’t know “Inside Out” by Odyssey — learn something new every day.

So its nothing new to anyone that lots of critics want rap music that doesn’t sound like rap, that doesn’t follow the “tiresome” gangsta blueprint, as if living in the hood is going to provide a world of non-hood experiences to to rap about. Not that there isn’t some weak, dervitive, exploitative g-rap by any means, and certainly when an artist splashes color across the bluntsmoke-grey concrete urban canvas it can be utterly refreshing, like the lyrics on Still Standing or Mannie Fresh’s beats post-RZA/NY ‘claustrophobia®’. But when folks who hate on thug rap just for its limited, insular palette can miss out on some of the best rap music being made. Small variations on a familiar template can be the most satisfying for their clarity, for performances that seem honest and willing to express a variety of reflections of ‘reality.’ They don’t shock you with difference, and instead appeal to rap fans who know what they want to hear, real shit that echoes pathos and draws upon the strengths that the template supplies: ‘regular folks’ have opportunities to express anger, resentment, hopelessness, and of course finding beauty in the everyday. Blah blah blah, you’ve heard it all before. Rap is the new blues, man.

So Do or Die return to Rap-A-Lot for a brief 11 tracks, ditch the weak grown-folks Kanye/Kells R&B tracks that marred their last album, return to classic Do or Die sound, implying that they’re again young and hungry. It’s visible on the cover art: drop D.O.D.‘s classy black leather jackets, stand in ragged project stairwells wrapped in bulletproof vests, signifying a return to the roots, at street level. Most beats by traxster, the ragged-project-stairwell of Chicago rap production, the sound of the gritty windy city adrenaline rush. Do or Die live or die by beats and hooks, because lyrically they are usually on point and consistent always, but when beats or hooks are slipping you end up with D.O.D., which had its moments but was a lazy slide into contemporary MOR Chicago Kanye/Kells blandifcation, dull and forced ‘adult rap.’ As usual, Traxster’s dateless mob-style midwest grind, with whirring chainsaw-funk and bottomless bass kicks, does more with less for the ‘generic’ gangsta blueprint, proving how exceptional a group can sound when they stick to the basics. “Hey Ma” with Bun-B, for example, an R&B ballad that doesn’t sound soft and forced, but genuine, satisfied and comfortable – street rappers can’t just switch from hard to soft dramatically; the R&B needs to sound balanced with the hard shit. And as usual with Do or Die we have extensive R&B interpolations, slow burning loverman rap tracks that don’t sound overly smoked out like on Headz or Tailz, don’t have the obnoxious forced ‘grown and sexy’ Kanye/Kells modern Chicago all-caps SOUL, but stick to spitting a solid melody over gritty beats.

Do or Die – On My Own

What makes this album impressive is how, despite all the signifyers implying a return to street-level Picture This “Po Pimp” hard rock young man shit, it is really grown-folks rap music – from the R&B tracks to “On My Own,” with a grimey singsong chorus lamenting street loneliness, addictions, getting fucked up to avoid harsh reality. Like the best veteran every-thug blueprint gangsta, Do or Die return to street level as adults, bringing to bear a mature perspective and honest eye to all parts of the hood, not in glorification but addiction, desperation, survival, love, fear, paranoia, anger, heart, earth, water, fire. It covers the spectrum like captain planet. Get this shit.

The godfather of white rap

I Don’t Like the Look of It Remix ft Bun B

Bun drops a standard verse, they scary up the beat a little, and here you go.

NahRight has the jam up, and Lupe is disappointed and tho I hope this doesn’t get pushed back, the buzz can only build. Shit sounds hot as hell:

by the way Kanye is not on the album rapping or production wise…all records are by Pro, Soundtrakk, Needlz, Mike Shinoda & The Buchanans…

word.